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Post by Kender on Dec 22, 2005 20:05:17 GMT -5
I'm so tired. i havent been sleeping well. not to mention i seem to be sick. A cold or some such thing.
Today i was feeling odd. sort of pushed away by everyone... or maybe i was pushing other people away. either way i found myself dazed and confused. i remembered things that i wish i didnt and i found myself calling my ex. i missed him...alot and i was close to asking if we could work things out and start over... but after speaking with him. He smashed that idea all to bits by telling me that "even if the chance that we could get back together i dont think i will want that".
So even if i didnt want to be, i am still single. i should use this time to evaluate what i want. i made a vow once that if things didnt work out between us that i was going to leave the country for a short time...prehaps a vacation... or i might move away all together. i haven't decided. Either way i dont have the means or the funds for either at the moment. i should concentrate on getting shit together here before leavin.
Anyways i kinda want him back and i know i cant...and prolly shouldn't. It's sad really.
Prehaps all this is brought on by the illness or my lack of proper sleep... im sure the stress doesnt help much either.
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Andy
The master of Pr0n
Posts: 27
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Post by Andy on Dec 23, 2005 4:47:46 GMT -5
Vera, i had something really f*cked up posted here and you may or may not have read it. But its no ones business to know but yours. Its why i dont blog, im too personal.
And i was really pissed at you after i talked to you today, if you wanted me then why wont you just once reach out to me instead of waiting for me to fix everything. How the hell could a relationship ever work if you wont be honest with me and tell me what your feeling or thinking. I would have given anything to have the girl I had in the beginning, but she walked away from us, our relationship took a backseat to everything and everyone else in your life. You made it seem unimportant, you wanted friends in your life, but you left me behind. If I was your boyfriend you should have made that abundently clear to anyone of the misc. douche bags hitting on you on regular basis. Think about this, if us being together meant anything to you then let this sink in
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Post by scudknight on Dec 23, 2005 21:52:36 GMT -5
"...But its no ones business to know but yours." Actually that's where I draw the line. The words "f*cked up" and "my business" are synonymous in my vocabulary - cause see f*cked up means wrong, and I have a thing against wrongs, 'specially to this kid. But I didn't see it so I can't react to it.
"Its why i dont blog, im too personal." There's a difference between being too personal to post and fearing what people have to say about what you write... Which one are you? Journals are just that, personal. You can't be too personal with it.
I really don't give a f*ck what happens here as I am severing myself from the entire spectacle but for the love of god, both of you, seriously - grow the f*ck up. Kender you need to figure out what the hell you want, Andy the whining and the card playing has to stop. I am trying REALLY HARD to not be an not a very nice person here (or am I just trying to get your attention hence anger redirected at me so you can forget the bullshit between you two) but I don't see what the problem is. You should know better. If you saw something and it troubles you deep down, then it's probably true. Actions do speak louder than words. SO either follow your gut and walk away, or deal with it and work with it without complaining.
If Vera cheats on you then you have an excuse to leave. Or if she hates Hot Rod. Other than that, nothing! Vera open up for the love of god or you are going to repeat this cycle with people until you are old and still short. I love you but you have serious "communicating" issues. Jeez! I don't even want to have to deal with this today!
"I would have given anything to have the girl I had in the beginning" - Guess what, same chick, you just got to know her better. Things change with time. "You made it seem unimportant, you wanted friends in your life, but you left me behind" - did she go home with you? Yeah? Guess what, STFU.
Now I'm going to go attempt to begin enjoying the beginning of my xmas vacation. After I break something. f*ck, now I'm pissed off! The ignorance two people can generate over TRIVIAL bullshit. Whew... ok I'm goin out. Happy f*cking Holidays.
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Andy
The master of Pr0n
Posts: 27
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Post by Andy on Dec 24, 2005 3:30:37 GMT -5
First of all the only reason I posted that here in the first place was because I was mad and it was the first place i found to vent my frustration. Secondly I didnt want to post here because its is NO ONES BUSINESS BUT OURS, in the future i'll make it a point not to post here for the sake of sparing you our relationship troubles. Third, we've worked everything out at this point and we're going to start from scratch. "Jeez! I don't want to have to deal with this today", no offense Scud, no one invited you in to our problems and there not yours to deal with. As far as Im concerned you have your own problems with Vera to deal with so concentrate on that and seperate mine and Veras relationship problems from your own, this relationship is no ones but mine and hers. If she wants outside advice, and you know Ive asked you for advice myself at times and it was apprectiated, but the truth is we've both come to a better understanding at this point and you'll be proud of her to know that she did tell me this morning what she wants and that she wants me, for the first time she came out of her shell a bit without alot of influence from me and I think thats a big step and Im happy that she did. "grow the f*ck up", maybe so, but even more importantly we're growing closer as people the more we understand eachother. Im not that hip to much computer lingo so I dont know what STFU means so I cant comment there. But you're right, I wanted her completely like I had in the beginning, but the puppy love in relationships wears off, we still love eachother and now we just have to live our own lives. She wants to take things slow and thats just what we should do.
"The ignorance two people can generate", thats all relationships! Are you going to tell me you haven't had problems in your past relationships? I dont even care about that comment, I see the point you're trying to make, but heres an up to date for you, we're still seeing eachother, we want things to work and believe it or not I think it will and that we're going to be fine from this point on.
If we didnt love eachother it wouldnt have lasted this long, I feel like a fool at this point for thinking that she might cheat on me, I was more afraid of all the annoying ass outside influence of the guys she talks to and their intentions, but I know I can trust her to put them in their place when the time comes, if thats their intentions. By the way, that wasnt directed at you or Jason, Im just speaking in generalities. The only thing I have left to say is another random apology to you and Jason for having to deal with our relationship problems at your apartment. Im not sucking your peniss here by saying this, but you are good people, I know you both have good intentions and more importantly you're there to protect Vera and helping her live on her own and get the independence she wants right now, while you may not be asking for it, I do appreciate it.
Relationships are a process, I went way off the f*cking deep end with my own personal issues with things, she had some of her own, we talked, things are straightened out. I think we're both happy at this point.
Theres other matters at hand and I dont want to add to anyones stress at this point so lets just consider this matter settled. Happy f*cking Holidays back ach you
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Andy
The master of Pr0n
Posts: 27
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Post by Andy on Dec 24, 2005 3:48:03 GMT -5
Oh, I guess I didnt address the "Its why I dont blog, Im too personal" comment. I dont like brodcasting things about our relationship to the rest of the world, Im not a blogger by nature, its just not my thing, I dont keep a journal cause I talk to all my friends on a normal basis anyway. I dont care less what people have to say about my problems, because frankly who are you to judge, what makes you any better, and if you are, dont flaunt it, be humble about it or you will be humbled by those who dont see you the way you see yourself. My business is my own. I dont like bowling, I dont like the taste of eel, and I hate golf, am i afraid of any of this, no, well I almost choked to death on some eel, but either way it just isnt my thing.
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Post by Kender on Dec 24, 2005 13:01:47 GMT -5
JESUS. Both of you stop with the pissing contest...or not... either way this thread is being locked.
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